The Mello Rule
by SleeplessShinyOne
Summary: Very fluffy Easter-ish oneshot. Matt figures out a true, slightly humorous standard Mello seems to abide by. Rated for cursing and very slight implied sexual content. T is probably too strong, but it's just to be safe. This is MelloxMatt, obviously. XD


_A/N: Here I go again. Putting off an essay due tomorrow on a whim of a plotbunny... :P Happy late birthday to my beta! Lotsa love, dude._

_Got this idea at Easter mass while trying to avoid wearing my painful shoes and house-hunting for Matty and Mells whilst driving home from church with the 'fam._

_Happy Late Easter, peoples!_

_Love you all :D_

_-3 Shiny 3-_

* * *

Mello and Matt are in an argument. This is an uncommon spectacle, but it happens every year around Easter or so. Mello attends church fastidiously and expects his _boyfriend_ (uh, sorry, FRIEND,) to come too, or at least on Easter. Matt is fine with this and even fine with wearing a cheap secondhand suit.

So the two always end up walking to church and back, Matt wearing a suit jacket and tie which are usually already draped loosely over his shoulders, Mello wearing that Matt-opinionated "cute smile that he only gets after religious-type endeavors."

There's one problem with this yearly routine... there's a house on the hill nearby that Mello ignores, but Matt is in love with. It's a "fixer-upper"; old and beautiful, it's got holes in the roof, tiles falling everywhere, doors busted open, the whole shebang looking "like something out of a HORROR movie," as Matt always gushes fondly.

"Nuh uh, not worth it, don't have the cash, and it's too big for you to live in alone," Mello faultlessly says decisively, pulling jingly-spiky keys with some difficulty out of his tight leather pockets, jamming them into the ignition, and shoving the stick shift forcefully into the right gear, propelling life into the convertible. The small car always takes off so fast that poor Matt has to grab on for dear life, cigarette flying out of his mouth and maybe igniting a strand of long hair (which is "red anyway so it doesn't count," as Matt cheerfully quips), on the way.

Now, back home, after a long, awkward elevator ride with their neighbor, their apartment is a rat's nest. Mello shakes his head and clucks as he realizes he's down to small supply of chocolate in the abused and battered mini-fridge, Matt dashes off, dodging wrinkled copies of _Nintendo Power _and Hershey wrappers and game consoles to fetch a never-used notebook, seizing a bleeding red pen and drawing a line between two hastily-scrawled columns.

The Apartment

The New House

"What the hell are you doing?" is the blonde's expected remark, as he kicks his already-filthy Eurotrash boots onto the sofa, lounging like a cat or a sovereign, yellowy-gold strands of too-long hair and too-long limbs and flat stomach and long torso everywhere like he owns the apartment.

Which neither of them do.

Matt smiles.

"Gimme pros and cons for the apartment," he grins.

"What's this, the friggin' persuasive essay department?" bitches the other. But Matt knows his _lover _(no, FRIEND, but who's kidding) too well. Mello sighs, and ticks off ideas on lazy long fingers, tapping his knuckles against the ragged and worn red sofa arm as he talks...

"The apartment is small, too hot or too cold based on season, it's nightmarishly rodent-infested, dirty, _every_thing is on the floor, I have no space for my clothes, you hog the already tiny TV with video games, we don't have Wi-Fi without stealing it from the Starbucks a whole block away, we can't afford the electricity bill for a real fridge, the walls are _so_ thin that the neighbors can hear us having se- I mean, screwi- I mean, _talking to each other at night in suspiciously loud and moan-type voices_ through the pathetically weak asbestos insulation, there's only _two_ _and a half __chairs_, there's a a shitty kitchen setu-"

Mello cuts himself off, realizing Matt is smirking wickedly.

"The pros?" the redhead drawls, putting his own feet up on a broken lamp and inhaling his cigarette like the nicotine is saving him from death.

"Well, it's cheap," Mello starts.

"You get to live with me," Matt giggles, and Mello rolls his eyes.

"Sadly, that's too true, bitch."

"Oh? Who's the bitch?" the gamer eggs, raising his eyebrows suggestively

There is a brief pillow fight that ends when Mello snatches the paper and scrawls on it, under "New House Cons."

_Too expensive, too easy to find for our enemies, I can't fix shit around the house, we don't have the money for upkeep if we do end up buying it, there are probably neighbors who eavesdrop._

Matt makes his puppy dog face. "Oh, Mells..."

"What?" Mello keeps his stubborn eyes.

"Please, can we go look at it?"

"No." Mello says decisively, turning around so he doesn't have to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

"Whyn't?"

"That's not a word, stupid."

"It is now. Stop changing the subject. WHY NOT?"

"I like our apartment," Mello sighs, admitting.

"Huh," Matt frowns, gazing at the other through intelligent green eyes, "I've discovered the Mello rule."

"Which is?"

"'The more Mello likes something, the more he whines about it.'"

"That is not true!" Mello snaps.

"Yuh huh."

"Gimme an example," Mello pouts.

"Rain. Chocolate-covered things you claim should be ALL chocolate. The apartment. Being uke. Hula dancing. Wearing sexy maid costumes... ME!" shouts Matt, then grabs the car keys and runs off to get the hell out of Mello's gun-range and thinking they should get over to look at those house prices and Mello's sprinting after him screaming about maid costumes and ukes and Matt being an ass while wearing a huge smile.

"Happy Easter, Matt," he whispers to the redhead's disappearing frame as he pauses to gasp for breath and make sure he has a credit card in his wallet, because they are NOT BUYING THE HOUSE, not as long as Mello lives...

La Fin

Happy late Easter again!:)


End file.
